Christmas Is Canceled

This year a Christmas movie came out that kicked father/daughter suggestiveness to a whole new level. If you’ve seen it, or even seen the trailer, then you already know what movie I am talking about: Christmas Is Canceled, a last minute holiday incest-shipping gem (available on Amazon, I believe).

The premise is this: Emma has a nasty surprise when she learns that her father Jack’s (played by Dermot Mulroney) new girlfriend will be intruding on one of their traditional family Christmases, and even worse: his new girlfriend, Brandy, is her old enemy from high school. So we have a movie about an adult daughter, very close to her father, who is determined to sabotage his new relationship. The fics practically write themselves!

What makes this rare, beyond the favorable premise, is that both Emma and David are very attractive, and Jack/Dermot Mulroney, while being old enough to be her father, is not old. It’s convincing that Brandy would want to be with him, would be attracted to him, and by extension, it’s convincing that Emma could feel that way too.

I’m going to talk through the plot and spoil as I go, not that there’s much to surprise anyone. Overall, it’s a fun watch for fans of father/daughter but I wouldn’t call his a can’t-miss recommendation.

Emma’s mother has passed away two years ago and Emma seems to have slipped right into the wifely role despite having aged out of the house: in the first scene Emma has just returned from a research trip that lasted a couple of months. Jack comes home and Emma tells him that she picked up his dry cleaning and folded his laundry and she’s about to make dinner. Emma does live on her own but clearly is used to coming and going from her father’s house whenever she wants to. They also work together at the same corporate-type company.

Brandy, this enemy from high school, grew up across the street and has moved back into her parents’ empty house. She and Emma haven’t seen each other in 10 years, so Emma is most likely about 28 years old. (Jack is 54.) Brandy comes over to say hello and it’s clear that she and Jack are already together but they pretend they’re not because Jack hasn’t told Emma yet. Brandy offers some kind words about Emma’s mom and brings up a time when she took the girls to the mall and bought them both bras with pineapples on them. The story being about bras, possibly one of the girls’ first bras ever, is weird and wonderful on so many levels, and Emma actually brings it up later after she finds out that Jack and Brandy are dating.

We cut to two weeks later and Emma’s friend Charlyne is trying to invite Emma out to do stuff, but Emma has traditions with her dad that she would rather do. Charlyne wants Emma to be a “normal twenty-something” and when Emma tries to defend herself, Charlyne points out that she cooks pot roast for her dad and that her clothes are probably from Talbots (which, if you’re not aware, is typically known for having clothes for older women).

Emma says she’s doing it for her dad, but Charlyne asks her if she’s doing it for him or for herself, and if maybe she’s the one who’s really lonely, not him. In an ideal shipping situation, it would be both, of course. But the implication that Emma isn’t just doing him a favor, but actually wants all that, is good.

Emma brings her dad some breakfast at work, which seems to be something that happens all the time. He apologizes and says he forgot to tell her that he had a breakfast meeting. This breakfast “meeting” is with Brandy, who comes strolling in, dressed inappropriately for the office. The two had planned to meet at a restaurant but Brandy had left a message with Jack’s secretary, Bea, to meet at the office instead, which may or may not have had an ulterior motive. Bea, the secretary, appears not to have told Jack on purpose and clearly disapproves of Brandy. I think we can all guess what direction this movie will go but wouldn’t it have been great if Brandy was just awful for Jack and everyone thought so, not just Emma.

It has been two weeks since Emma came back from her trip and Jack still hasn’t told her. He’s had plenty of opportunities – not just that first night when they had dinner together at home, but presumably every day at work as well. That’s pretty significant, I think. Naturally he doesn’t want to tell her, it’s an awkward conversation to have and he can be certain she’ll disapprove because she wastes no opportunity to insult Brandy, but at this point it’s ridiculous. And in fact Jack doesn’t tell her, Emma picks on the implication from talking with Bea.